I'm sitting here on a cool August night sipping tea and savoring this privilege to contemplate. This is a lovely moment. Usually life is spinning so fast and changing at warp speed that I'm afraid stopping would cause a colossal domino effect to the natural order. It's such a rare opportunity to appreciate all that has happened, is happening, and will happen. It's even more rare to have the ability to stop taking it all in and just sip tea. This is as close as I get. It's a little embarrassing to admit, but the tea I'm drinking is very mainstream and Americanized. It actually came from a bag, in paper packaging from *mumbles* the grocery store. I know, I know, this is a travesty to all that tea should be and a blatant mockery to the history and delicate beauty of true tea, but it was there and I was curious. Somewhere there is a jar of beautiful jasmine pearls with my name all over it, but this will do for now.The tea, in all honesty, isn't the point though. I'm just in awe of where I am. Not just physically, although watching the sun set from this terrace is amazing, but just where I am in life. It's overwhelming. When life takes me to the pinnacle of possibility, I feel as if I am in a free fall; and in one respect I am. Life is and should be a series of steps into pure faith. No one, I do believe, truly lives that way, or at least recognizes that they do. We live in a world of statistics, basing so many decisions on chances and odds, never fully accepting that life isn't within our total control. When I'm driven to moments like these, I'm scared to oblivion naturally, but I'm so extremely grateful that life isn't within my complete control. There is no way I could have planned for beautiful moments like these, or imagined the turns life would take that have led me to the wisdom I've gained from them, and there is absolutely no way I could find the appreciation I have now. So, after stepping off the ledge, I'm reminded of many things that keep my faith afloat and my heart and mind from drowning in fear. I'm not concerning myself with the odds that are for or against me because for each and every person that every statistic is based on, they had their own individual battle of fear and faith. Life isn't about numbers, it's about our own journeys. I would never want to look back at this time in my life and think that I really beat the odds or how much of a chance I had a different outcome, I just want to look back and know that I was lead by God, being completely and utterly blessed.
