Quarter-life Crisis: ✔

It's no secret that I have some quirky OCD habits and that I am a compulsive list maker. I love making lists! Christmas lists, grocery lists, goal lists, even spice lists! Pen and paper is my equivalent to a security blanket and list making is my little way of gaining control and perspective on situations. So, maybe that comparison to Joanne from Rent wasn't so far off, but I'd consider myself more of a Type A hybrid than a total square. I just hate that feeling of being "typecast" with certain expectations even if I have a few characteristics here or there. Life is full of expectation without much consideration for gray area. It seems to start when you are are school-aged, what crowd you fit into, what clubs you belong to. By the time you graduate high school, you are literally wearing your label in the form of a Letterman jacket. My whole existence has been spent in the gray area, never quite feeling like I've accomplished all those expectations. Now, I'm teetering the edge of my twenties (gasp), and I'm looking at that quintessential "Twenties checklist," and knowing that, once again, I have unfulfilled expectations. Everyone in or beyond their twenties has one of these lists whether they acknowledge it or not, and I personally believe that is one of the reasons hitting the 30 mark is so difficult. For some, the checklist is completed in perfect order, and by the time some turn 27, they can take inventory with a sense of accomplishment and bright-eyed naivety at the wonders that lie ahead in the next few years, others aren't so lucky and they may feel rushed to meet the deadline at the back-end of their 29th year, and still there are others that see the the list ahead, appreciate the few checks they have scattered on the page and wave the white flag of defeat that they have failed. What happens when you fail? Is that what drives once beautiful and perky young women to moo moos and beehives? Or once prospering young men to Bermuda shorts and moth balls? Let's take a look at the list. In our generation, our twenties are mainly spent establishing the type of person we want to be and hitting all the big spots in adult life, i.e. degrees, career, marriage, children, mortgage, credit card debit, travel, etc. (Reference LIFE, the board game, if you have any questions). Maybe I played house too much as a child, but my expectations for my twenties didn't veer too far from the list above, just add a little creative detailing. What went wrong? I've given it all my effort, but as I gain speed on the downhill slope to thirty, I feel incomplete and I feel that I have failed at my twenties. I know my life hasn't exactly followed the proper order of things (I'm pretty sure life-threatening disease was suppose to be a little further down the road), but I am struggling to understand that while these things are suppose to naturally progress, I have plateaued at such a young age. It's like a relay race, and people five years younger are speeding past, but I haven't been handed the baton. How do I respond to the questions: "What is your degree in? Do you own a home? When are you guys going to finally have kids?"...all I hear is, "You're how old? You haven't met our expectations. You haven't completed your twenties checklist. What's wrong with you?!" So, here I stand with my worn, yet incomplete list inching towards the front of the line for the inevitable 3-0. Will I be able to meet those expectations? Venture off into my thirties with 2.5 kids, a healthy career, and white picket fence? Or will I raise that white flag and adopt a few more cats? Maybe I'll just cross-over and give Maureen a try.